The Legend of Kuroman
by Frog-kun
Summary: A collection of humorous KnB short stories: Kuroko unwittingly becomes a superhero, Kagami gets a secret admirer, we finally meet Kuroko's parents, and more.
1. The Legend of Kuroman

**A note from Frog-kun**

Stories about stories may seem rather esoteric at times and for that I apologise. Please bear with me. In the writing of this fanfiction, I decided to do some extensive research on the people involved. During my research, I came upon Tōō High. I was eager to talk to the manager, a rather delightful young woman from what I've been told. She was truly the most beautiful high school girl I had ever encountered. Her lascivious figure was perfectly-proportioned, her generous bosoms a feast upon the eyes. It was mostly her pink hair that caught my interest, because I am only interested in marrying a girl with pink hair. No other hair colour would do.

I at once set about introducing myself to her, though she interrupted me before I had gotten my name out.

"Urk! It's a frog!" said she, in a tone that I have trouble convincing myself as being warm and inviting. "I hate frogs! Aomine-kun, squish it! Squish it dead!" Then she said, "Thanks a bunch, Aomine-kun. Wait, why am I thanking you? It's your fault I hate frogs in the first place!"

I wrote these stories during my period of internment in hospital. Please enjoy them.

**The Legend of Kuroman – 1**

Sometimes, there comes a time in life when a man is so hard up on his cash that he must resort to robbing a bank. Children, please do not try this for yourselves. There will be consequences.

So anyway, this man I was talking about, he decided to do everything he could to make sure his bank robbery was a success. He purchased himself a gun over the black market; he fitted himself out in full black attire. Then he picked a good bank, walked inside and waved his gun around. "Hands on your heads and get down on the floor!" he roared at the customers. They obliged. The robber waited as the tellers filled up his bag with money, all the while keeping a very close eye on all the people in the room, making sure none of them were up to any shifty business that could cause his undoing.

He was just about finished and about to walk out the door when a boy said, "Excuse me."

"What's that you say?" the robber demanded, turning around with a snarl.

"The police are waiting just outside the door," the boy explained patiently.

"_What?"_

"You did not seem to notice when I walked out the door and called the police," said the boy.

The robber gazed at the boy with a mixture of horror and fury, but in the end, all he could feel was resigned about his fate. He had been outplayed.

And from then on, whispers were uttered between those that were present that day… Eventually, it would form the story of a great hero who saved the streets of Tokyo from evil.

The Legend of Kuroman.

**Kuroko no Tennis**

There came a time when Coach Aida decided that she had had enough of basketball for the moment. "Listen up, guys!" she announced one morning, at one particular fateful practice session. "Let's take a break from basketball and play a different sport!"

"Um, what sport?" Hyuuga asked.

Aida stood with her hands on her hips and proclaimed:

"Tennis."

"Huh? What for?" asked Kagami, who had no interest or knowledge about tennis whatsoever.

"Wimbledon starts today, that's why," Aida replied.

"Hey, that's true," said Izuki. "I hope Djokovic wins it."

"What's a Wimbledon?" asked Kagami.

The other guys ignored him. They were starting to get enthusiastic about the idea of playing tennis, just for a bit of variety. So Aida promptly arranged for the basketball team to borrow the tennis courts for one afternoon and after school, the boys trudged over to their destination, borrowed tennis racquets in hand.

"This is gonna be so stupid," said Kagami. "Let's just go back to playing basketball."

Instead of agreeing with him, his seniors started bouncing the ball.

"Have at you, Kagami!" Hyuuga roared suddenly – and hit the tennis ball over the net with his racquet.

… It went over really, really slowly. Hyuuga's talent at shooting only allowed him to hit lobs in tennis, it seemed.

Kagami ran over to the ball and held up his racquet. In spite of himself, he was starting to get a little into the game. Just think of it as being like basketball, he told himself.

Kagami's natural talent at sports allowed him to successfully "dunk" the ball over the net. "How's this?" he said grinning. "Dunk smash!"

His seniors shook their heads at him.

"Stop plagiarising other anime," said Aida with a snort.

"Um," Kuroko spoke up for the first time. "May I play too?"

"Sure," said Aida, handing him a racquet. Kuroko tested its weight in his hands for a moment, trying to get accustomed to it.

"Oi, Kuroko, come play with me!" Kagami called out to him. "We'll team up against our senpais!"

Kuroko stepped onto the court. To the surprise and bewilderment of all those watching, Kuroko's misdirection actually seemed to work on a tennis court too. His combination with Kagami was just so good. As the rally ensued, Hyuuga and Mitobe seemed only able to see Kagami on the court, hitting all the returns. At one point, Mitobe, thinking erroneously that the entire half of the court that Kagami was not covering was completely empty, hit the ball straight towards Kuroko.

The freshman trio gasped as Kuroko got to the ball. He was about to show his special move, they were certain.

BAM.

Kagami fell over, knocked over backwards by a tennis ball.

"What was that for?" he demanded furiously.

In response, Kuroko blinked once, very solemnly.

"I thought I was meant to pass it to you."

**Kagami's Secret Admirer**

It happened one day, when Kagami opened up his shoe locker. A lunchbox wrapped up immaculately in a Hello Kitty cloth tumbled out, followed closely by a bright pink envelope.

"The hell is this?" Kagami wondered aloud.

He proceeded to pay no attention whatsoever to the envelope, opened up the lunchbox and ate everything inside it with one gulp. After that, he forgot all about the incident altogether.

It should have ended there, but it didn't. The next day, he opened up his shoe locker and saw another lunchbox inside, along with another envelope. First, Kagami ate the lunch, and then, finally, he took hold of the envelope and squinted at it, feeling kind of repulsed by its overall pinkness. He was still staring at it as he made his way to the basketball court, trying to figure out who on earth could have sent it to him.

"Hey, Kagami!" said Koganei cheerfully. "What's tha-?" He stopped. His expression froze in horror. "You bastard, Kagami!"

"Huh?" said Kagami stupidly.

"Stop showing off your love letter!" Koganei moaned.

"It's a love letter?"

At this point, Koganei tore the envelope off Kagami and opened it up. "To my dearest Kagami-kun," he read aloud. "This lunch is from your secret admirer, who prepared it with love. Please keep doing your best on the basketball court!" Koganei sniffed and began to cry tears of blood.

"What's this? Kagami's got a secret admirer?" said Kawahata.

"Impossible!" Furihata responded. "Kagami's face frightens small children!"

"You got a problem with my face?" Kagami demanded, leering at him.

The first years gulped.

"Anyway," said Kagami. "I don't care about any secret admirers. As long as I get food, I'm happy."

And this is precisely what happened. Day after day, Kagami opened up his shoe locker to find a neatly wrapped lunch just for him. The weeks passed under this routine, until Kagami began to naturally expect the food to be there as a supplement to his diet.

Gradually, Kagami found that softer feelings surfaced within him as he ate those lunches. He was not a picky eater, but even he could appreciate good cuisine, and his secret admirer appeared to be a master of it. Every day, the contents of the lunch were something different, but always they hit the right taste buds with the right sensations. Kagami was always disappointed when he finished. Not only that, but he became possessive of his lunches and refused to share them with anyone, preferring to eat them alone so he could savour their taste in private. He found himself wondering what kind of person could make such wonderful food.

Then, one night, he had a dream.

He was in a church. Bell chimes were ringing around him and all of his team mates, dressed in their uniforms, were sitting at the pews peering up at him. He was dressed in a white suit and behind him, he could hear a priest speaking to him.

"… take as your lawful wedded wife, to live in the holy estate of matrimony? Will you love, honour, comfort, and cherish her from this day forward, forsaking all others, keeping only unto her for as long as you both shall live?"

"I do," Kagami heard himself say.

"You may now kiss the bride," said the priest.

Kagami turned around and looked at his secret admirer. She was a giant yellow lunchbox. Kagami felt feelings of love and affection swell up inside of him.

"Oh, Food," he said adoringly. "I swear I'll make you happy."

Then Kagami woke up from his dream, smiled, and wolfed down his breakfast.

That day, however, was not fated to be a good one. Because when Kagami opened up his shoe locker, no lunchbox was to be found.

It broke his heart.

He spent a good deal of time searching through his shoe locker, not once, not twice, but approximately twenty-seven times. (The shoe locker was about as big as a shoe box.) He found the pink envelope but no food. _No food_.

Only after much moping did it occur to him to open up the envelope. So he read it during class, because he never paid attention to his classes anyway.

"To my dearest Kagami-kun," it read. "I hope you have enjoyed my lunches for you up until now. I would like to meet you. It would be my wish to give you lunches in person. Meet me at the rooftop during lunch break today."

Kagami read the whole letter a few times, unable to shake a weighing feeling of something that was perhaps dread. His secret admirer wanted to meet him. It made him nervous.

"Kagami-kun," said Kuroko behind him. Kagami yelped because, as usual, the blue-haired boy seemed to appear out of nowhere. "You should meet her."

"Well, I guess," said Kagami, scratching his cheek. "To get my lunch, right?"

"And to thank her," Kuroko added.

"Oh, yeah," said Kagami, feeling a little guilty that this idea had never even occurred to him.

Kuroko was right, he thought. Thanking his secret admirer was the only right thing he could do. He would be a jerk if he did not feel gratitude for all the food that had been given to him.

As Kagami made his way to the roof, he felt the anticipation rise. It was almost getting hard to breathe. Strangely enough, this was harder than playing against Aomine or something. What did his secret admirer even look like? Strangely enough, it had never occurred to Kagami to even wonder about this. He simply could not begin to imagine.

But the rooftop was empty when he got there. After all that buildup, Kagami could not help but feel a little crushed.

And it was then that he heard the footsteps and the voice.

"Um, Kagami-kun…"

He turned around. There she was. A girl. Straight, long black hair; a sweet, bashful smile; graceful, elegant, _cute._

"I don't know where to begin, Kagami-kun," said the girl shyly.

Curiously enough, Kagami felt his face go red. "Talk what you like," he responded, a little more brusquely than he intended.

"Okay," said the girl, fidgeting a little. The wind rolled gently over the rooftop, causing her fine black hair to sway in the breeze. It was vaguely romantic.

"You see, my brother really likes you," the girl said finally.

"What?" said Kagami.

"Yeah," the girl went on, giggling a little. "But he's really shy. He's standing behind me, see? He's really good at cooking, so he made you all those lunches. He's asking me to help out his confession to you, so…"

That was when Kagami noticed the boy standing timidly behind the girl. He had a face like a squirrel, which sadly included the presence of buck teeth. He wore wide-rimmed glasses, almost like goggles, and his face was spotty because of a recent outbreak of acne. He was also much shorter than the girl and when he smiled, he seemed sort of sickly.

"Hello," said the boy in a quiet, strained whisper. "I really, really like you, Kagami-kun. I think you're so amazing."

Kagami opened his mouth, closed it, then opened it again.

Several hours later, Kuroko found Kagami at the back of the basketball court in the foetal position, rocking himself back and forth with a numb expression on his face.

"Is something the matter, Kagami-kun?"

Kagami was muttering something deliriously to himself. He was also scoffing down pork buns one after the other, as if he were a man dying of starvation.

"I'll never cheat on you again, Food. You're the only girl for me. I'll never _look _at another person. Oh, Food, I love you."

"I'm glad you've found your special someone," said Kuroko. And he meant it.

**The Legend of Kuroman – 2**

It just so happened that one day, when the second years were giving Tetsuya #2 his daily walk, they came across an odd dilemma.

They were just walking along the pavement peacefully when Tetsuya #2 sprang up suddenly and began barking lustily. It turned out that there was a cat stuck up in a tree. It was a pretty feline, all white, fluffy fur and bright amber eyes. Evidently frightened, it clung to the tree branch like a dying man to a rock.

"'scuse me!" a young elementary schoolgirl called out to the boys. She seemed agitated and was standing around the tree biting her lips and pushing against the thick trunk. "My cat's stuck in a tree! Could you help me?"

"Sure thing," responded Hyuuga, who could be a gentleman when he wanted to.

He started to climb up the tree… only to slip off within a second and land flat on his bottom.

"You just bough'ed down to defeat," said Izuki.

"Shut up, Izuki," said Hyuuga automatically.

Next, Koganei tried to reach the cat with his jumps – the jumps of a true, talented basketballer. But since Koganei was neither true nor talented, he did not even make it halfway.

"Looks like there's only one thing we can do now," said the Seirin seniors, putting on their game face.

"Mitobe!" cried Hyuuga. As always, he was the mental core of the Seirin team. It was his rousing speeches that put the heart, soul and motivation into every player. "You must throw your basketball at the cat! Use your hook shot!"

"That'll get it off the tree!" Koganei said eagerly.

"And kill it," added Izuki.

"Uh oh," said Hyuuga. It was clear that Mitobe had only heard what Izuki said _after _he threw the basketball straight towards the hapless animal. By then, the ball was a mere inch from smashing into the hapless kitten's face.

Then suddenly, the cat was gone.

"Huh? Where'd it go?" the seniors asked, looking around confusedly.

There was an awkward pause, and then they heard a familiar boy's voice. "Here," he said, speaking to the girl. The girl's eyes and mouth opened wide in delight.

While the seniors watched this heart-warming scene, united through their nonplussed expressions, the girl twirled her kitten around in her arms and hugged it tightly against her chest.

"Thank you, Kuroman!"

"Yes," said Hyuuga, numbly. "He's definitely a ninja."

And thus another legend of Kuroman comes to a close…

**Unlucky Horoscope**

_Cancer: Today will be your unlucky day unless you go to a public bath and do the chicken dance._

A tall, green-haired boy pushed up his glasses and nodded firmly.

**Like Mother, Like Son**

"I just realised," Kagami said one day, as he was hanging out with Kuroko at the fast food store, "you've never told me about your parents."

Now that he thought about it, Kuroko's parents could be anyone. Maybe they were athletes, people who had trained Kuroko to be the type of basketballer he was today. Or maybe Kuroko had never mentioned them before because they were really callous and abusive people who made Kuroko sleep in the cupboard under the stairs. Or maybe Kuroko was an orphan who lived alone in an apartment somewhere. Like everything about the former phantom sixth man, Kuroko's family life was full of mystery.

While Kagami pondered all of this, Kuroko said nonchalantly, "Oh, want to hang out at my place today?"

And thus, without any foreshadowing or buildup whatsoever, Kagami met Kuroko's parents.

Kuroko lived in a small brick house located in a quiet neighbourhood in a quiet suburb. His house looked exactly like the one next door, and the one next door to that. When Kuroko pointed out which one it was, Kagami actually had to squint at it, somehow fearing that it would vanish the moment he blinked.

Inside the house, Kagami was greeted with the epitome of bland interior design. It wasn't that anything was out of place or that the furniture was sparse. Literally nothing stood out.

Kagami decided that he really should have expected this.

"By the way," said Kuroko randomly. "There's my mother."

"Hello," said a woman's voice behind Kagami.

Kagami screamed and jumped five feet in the air.

When he turned around, he found himself looking at a person with blue hair and nonchalant, inexpressive eyes. This person was somewhat short and rather thin, not the type of person that would stand a great deal in a crowd.

"My name's Harumi," said Kuroko's mother.

Kagami stared at Harumi, then at Kuroko, then back at Harumi.

"Aaaaaaarrrrgghhhh! That expression is just like Kuroko's!" Those eyes, it was like they were staring vacantly into his soul!

Before he could say anything more, he stopped noticing Harumi altogether. She went back to the kitchen and started chopping up vegetables.

"That was frightening," Kagami remarked to Kuroko as they sat down at the table. "So what's your dad like? Is he here?"

"Yeah, he's in his room," said Kuroko.

Kagami tried to imagine what Kuroko's father would be like. Probably exactly the same as Harumi, who was the same as Kuroko.

The Kurokos were in-breeding with each other.

Kagami blanched at the thought.

"Oh, there he is," Kuroko said, pointing towards the bedroom door. It opened, revealing Kuroko's father.

Takehiko Kuroko was one of those distinctly good-looking people one occasionally sees in movies or in magazines. He had chiselled features, a strong jaw, piercing blue eyes. He was the type of person that women would probably turn around and ogle at if he walked down the street.

Kagami felt himself die a little bit on the inside.

"Tetsuya, I need your help for a bit," Takehiko said, nudging at his son's arm.

"This is my father," Kuroko said to Kagami.

"Oh, hi there," said Takehiko. "Maybe you could help me too, you know?"

"With what?" Kagami asked. He was still numb from the shock and could not muster an outwardly surprised response.

"Come with me," Takehiko said, in a way that he thought was secretive and discrete but was completely unsubtle. He led the two boys into his room, which was more or less completely dark, except for the bright shine of a computer screen.

On the screen was a picture of a 2D animated girl with blue hair and eyes as wide as saucers. "Do you think this dress suits me?" were the words in the text box beneath her image.

"I don't know which choice to make," said Takehiko. "What do you think will make her like me the most? I just can't tell, you know."

There were three choices:

"Yes, you look really nice!"  
"Piss off, I'm busy."  
"Your butt looks big."

"I think it's the first one," said Kuroko, after some careful consideration.

Kagami watched on stupidly as Takehiko nervously clicked the first option and was rewarded with a picture of the 2D girl smiling. Takehiko let out a sigh of relief.

"I'm not very good with girls, you know," he explained sheepishly.

"Aren't you _married_?" Kagami asked.

"Am I?" Takehiko asked back.

"Yes, you are," Kuroko reminded him. "I'm your son."

Takehiko blinked multiple times in surprise.

"Sometimes, I forget all about that," he explained to Kagami. "My wife is just so hard to notice at times, you know?"

And after that fateful visit to Kuroko's home, Kagami could only think of one thing:

_Was this what married life to Kuroko would be like?_

**Fin**

(**A/N: **I'll probably post more short stories as I get the inspiration for them. This is all I've got so far. Hope you liked!)


	2. I wonder who will get the reference

**The Legend of Kuroman – 3**

And this, I believe, is Kuroman's catchphrase:

"AH, YOU THINK DARKNESS IS YOUR ALLY? YOU MERELY ADOPTED THE DARK. I WAS BORN IN IT, MOLDED BY IT. I DIDN'T SEE THE LIGHT UNTIL I WAS ALREADY A MAN."


	3. If KuroBasu were an Otome Game

**KuroBasu the Otome Game**

Have you ever wanted those sexy KuroBasu guys to fall in love with you? Sign up now for the KuroBasu Otome Game – your number one dating sim for meeting and interacting with attractive young basketball players across Japan! (Terms and conditions apply.)

The following is your unofficial strategy guide to unlocking all the routes in the game:

Kuroko Tetsuya

Difficulty: 5/5

The probability of encountering Kuroko in the game is approximately the same as finding a Shiny Pokemon in the wild. However, unlike a Shiny Pokemon, Kuroko is much harder to notice on the screen. If you encounter him, please resist your urge to glomp him. This will lower your relationship counter drastically.

In order to win Kuroko's affection, it is advisable that you take the time to compliment his friends and teammates and that you feed him at least one vanilla milkshake a day.

Kagami Taiga

Difficulty: 3/5

It may seem difficult to win Kagami's attention in this game, but once you learn the trick to it, it is quite simple. There is a button you can click at the bottom of the screen that turns you into a basketball. If you click that button, you will automatically win Kagami's route.

Hyuuga Junpei

Difficulty: 3.5/5

Hyuuga is an ordinary guy. Respond diligently and politely to his needs and he will fall in love with you. However, be wary of Aida Riko. She will not punish you in the slightest, but if Hyuuga acts too responsive with you in Riko's company, he may never live to see another day.

To prevent this from happening, it is advisable that you make friends with Riko and offer to join in on the training arc of hell. Hopefully, she won't actually make you go through with that. (… right? _RIGHT_?)

Izuki Shun

Difficulty: 4/5

The reason why this route is rated as relatively difficult is because you have to laugh at his lame jokes. At one point in your relationship, he will bring out his joke books and share them with you. I advise you at this point to count slowly to ten in your head, and then visualise Kagami Taiga in a bikini.

If you laugh hard enough, Izuki will love you forever.

Mitobe Rinnosuke

Difficulty: 3.75/5

Mitobe is a silent boy who expresses himself through his actions. He may be hard to communicate with at times, but if you have the patience, his lack of words will seem sweet. You may need to make friends with Koganei Shinji, who will translate his "words" for you. An underrated but very worthy choice.

Kiyoshi Teppei

Difficulty: 2/5

Why the heck are you going for Kiyoshi? He's a huge weirdo and at lot of the time, whatever he says makes no sense. You will need to be able to keep up with his goofiness if you want to date him. He will say that he likes you openly and somewhat frequently, even when his love meter is relatively low. That's just his way of being friendly. Kiyoshi will always be nice to you, so his route is one of the easier ones in the game.

Koganei Shinji

Difficulty: 1/5

Honestly, all you need to do is talk to him once and he'll be all yours.

Kise Ryota

Difficulty: 2.5/5

Out of all the characters in the game, Kise has the most CG scenes and one-on-one cutscenes with you. The difficulty is in trying to compete with his fangirls. Although it will cost a lot of time and money in the game, you must buy all of Kise's CDs, photobooks and affiliated merchandise. You won't regret it – he's smokin' hot!

Your relationship will start to change as soon as Kise starts calling you '-_your name_-cchi'. Try not to be forceful with your affections and instead treat him as an equal. If you succeed, you will have a friend in Kise for life.

Midorima Shintarou

Difficulty: 3.75/5

To become friends with Midorima, you must be acquainted with Takao Kazunari and agree to carry him around constantly in his lucky cart. At one point of the game he will ask what your horoscope is and it must be compatible with his. If you do not respond to this question correctly, you may as well restart the game because your ending route is predetermined as: Forever Alone.

To gain affection points, read up on the daily horoscope lucky items and give them to him. When you choose to confess, you must do it on an auspicious day for romance. You will know if your confession was successful if Midorima turns away with a huff and says, "Shut up! It's not as if I like you or anything!"

Aomine Daiki

Difficulty: 4/5

It would be for the best if you did not talk about basketball with Aomine because he doesn't really give a shit. Try to give interesting responses to his questions and do not try to compliment his abilities as a basketball player too much or he will get tired of you. Do not diss his friends unless it is your desire to unlock the CG where he punches you repeatedly in the face.

(NOTE: When deciding your appearance, give your character a D cup or above.)

Murasakibara Atsushi

Difficulty: 5/5

Better take a lot of cooking classes and study all his favorite snacks. If you do this, Murasakibara will genuinely come to love you... as his food servant. Never talk about hard work because all your love points will decrease to zero unless you filled his meter to the top and he has been defeated once. However, if you speak too much about talent when your character isn't talented then he will think its fake, get angry, and never talk to you again.

A small note: You can also never tell if Murasakibara loves you or not because his love meter is obscured by his ridiculous height.

Akashi Seijuro

Difficulty: ?/5

The only way to complete Akashi's route is to defeat him at 100 games of Shogi. Only then will he gain respect for you. According to the developers of the game, the grand Shogi masters of Japan have yet to win a single match against Akashi, but please do not let that deter you. Have perseverance and you may be guided towards victory.

Upon satisfying the requirements, Akashi will agree to date you and this will result in several CG images of him smiling benignly at you. He will then reveal during the end credits that dating you was part of his plan for world domination. You will never be seen again.

* * *

**Disclaimer: **This game doesn't actually exist. Sorry.

Also, thanks goes to AquaJet for helping me come up with these routes.


	4. The Punniest Chapter

**(A/N: **Will add more to this chapter as I think of more puns. Count on it, broskis.)

**An excerpt from Izuki's Joke Book, vol. 8**

Q. What did the basketball player's ex-girlfriend say when they broke up?

A. "I knew I was just a rebound!"

.

Q. Why did the horse ask for a glass of water?

A. Because he was hoarse!

.

Q. What did Kagami say after he jumped over the basketball hoop?

A. "Mamma mia!"

.

"Want to hear a joke about pizza?"

"Sure!"

"Never mind, it's too cheesy."

.

Q. What did the mother say after her son wet the bed?

A. "Looks like urine trouble!"

.

Q. What did the frustrated basketball player say to the coach?

A. "Just lay up already!"

.

Q. How did I get out of Iraq?

A. Iran.

.

Q. How many Generation of Miracles members does it take to change a lightbulb?

A. Just one, but they'll score one hundred more than they needed to.

**.**

"Want to hear a chemistry joke?"

"Sure!"

"Na."

.

Q. Why was Kagami benched after he came all the way from America?

A. Because he was travelling.

.

Q. Why did the hipster stop swimming in the ocean?

A. Because it was too current.

.

Why do they call it menopause when men don't get it?

.

Q. Why did the chicken cross the basketball court?

A. Because the referee was blowing fowls.

.

Q. What did the elephant say to the-

A. "Shut up, Izuki."

_b-but I liked his jokes ;w;_

**Similarities between basketball and sex**

Can't be posted here, because of K+ rating and your mother.

Url is as follows (remove spaces):

http: (doubleslash) dir . groups . yahoo . com (slash) group (slash) puns (slash) message (slash) 19314

**Basketball quotes****  
**

Based off real quotes.

"These are my new shoes. They're good shoes. They won't make you rich like me, they won't make you rebound like me, they definitely won't make you handsome like me. They'll only make you have shoes like me. That's it." - Aomine Daiki (Charles Barkley)

"If you make every game a life and death proposition, you're going to have problems. For one thing, you'll be dead a lot." - Kiyoshi Teppei (Dean Smith)

"After Kagami Taiga had scored a play-off record 69 points - I'll always remember this as the night Kagami and I combined to score 70 points." - Koganei Shinji (Stacey King)

"I'm in favour of drug tests, just so long as they are multiple choice." - Kagami Taiga (Kurt Rambis)

"I haven't been able to slam-dunk the basketball for the past five years. Or, for the eleven years before that, either." - Kuroko Tetsuya (Dave Barry)

"In my prime I could have handled the Generation of Miracles. Of course, they would be only four years old." - Teikou's coach (Jerry Sloan)

"Some things you just can't question. Like you can't question why two plus two is four. So don't question it, don't try to look it up. I don't know who made it, all I know is it was put in my head that two plus two is four. So certain things happen. Why does it rain? Why am I so sexy? I don't know." - Kise Ryota (Shaquille O'Neal)

"The psychology instructor had just finished a lecture on mental health and was giving an oral test. Speaking about manic depression, she asked, 'How would you diagnose a patient who walks back and forth screaming at the top of his lungs one minute, then sits in a chair weeping uncontrollably the next?' Hyuuga raised his hand and answered, 'Riko?'" - Old Seirin Joke

"Any Japanese boy can be a basketball star if he grows up, up, up." - Murasakibara Atsushi (Bill Vaughn)

"On the best tactic when playing alongside Midorima - Just give him the ball." - Takao Takenori (Earvin 'Magic' Johnson)

"There are some remarkable parallels between basketball and politics. Akashi Seijuro has already mastered the skill most needed for political success: how to stay aloft without visible means of support." - Margaret Thatcher (1992)

"My sister's expecting a baby, and I don't know if I'm going to be an uncle or an aunt." - Sakurai Ryo (Chuck Nevitt), explaining to Momoi Satsuki why he appeared nervous at practice

"I told him, 'Son, what is it with you? Is it ignorance or apathy?' He said, 'Coach, I don't know and I don't care." - Touou's coach (Frank Layden), on Aomine Daiki

"Die." - Midorima Shintaro


	5. Kuroman has not been forgotten

**The Legend of Kuroman – 4**

At some point, Kuroman became an Internet sensation.

The fanarts multiplied and gave birth to more fanarts. The fan videos on Nico Nico skyrocketed. The doujinshis were sold out at every convention. It all pointed to one thing – the public had truly taken a shine to their mysterious, shadowy defender of justice.

Naturally, they made an anime out of it. It was not a rare sight on the streets of Harajuku to see enthusiastic Kuroman cosplayers, waving and smiling for the cameras. The Legend of Kuroman was a hit all across Japan, particularly with little girls and lonely otakus in their thirties.

"The hell?" Kagami demanded, after he saw the anime debut episode. "Did they just turn Kuroman into a _magical girl anime_?"

"Yes," said the Kuroman himself. "It appears they did."

**Cleanup duty is the destiny of mankind – 1**

That day, Kagami was late for practice. He was still scowling and muttering dark words under his breath as he shuffled into the basketball court. Everyone else was already halfway through practice, sweating like pigs under Riko's gruesome training.

"You're late, Kagami. What kept you?" Hyuuga asked, a question which prompted another annoyed grimace from Kagami. It was actually not the first time this had happened to him.

"Class rep was yelling at me," he explained gruffly. "She made me stay back in the class again."

"What for?" Hyuuga asked, puzzled.

"Half-assing my cleanup duties."

At this point, Kuroko spoke up behind Kagami. "Kagami-kun, you have to clean to the fullest extent of your abilities."

Kagami groaned. "Argh, not you too, Kuroko!"

"Huh? What does your class rep say?" Koganei piped up curiously.

"Argh! She's so frustrating! She goes on and on about our duties to the class, like working together or some crap like that. No man must be left out."

"She does not say anything like that to me," said Kuroko.

"That's because she doesn't notice you exist at all!"

Hyuuga wondered if anyone else saw the irony in this.

**Like Mother, Like Son – 2**

Ever since Kagami met Kuroko's parents, there was one thing he found himself very curious about.

"How did they _meet_?" he asked. "I mean seriously. Your mum's got no presence." After he said that, he supposed it was a little mean of him to say. After all, Kuroko had very little presence either. Perhaps equating that with a lack of attractiveness was somewhat insulting. He certainly didn't mean it like that.

Kuroko, however, did not seem to mind. In fact, he seemed rather thoughtful more than anything. "I suppose I will have to ask them."

The next day, he dutifully reported the story to Kagami.

"My mother works at a fashion agency," he explained. "She has always said she likes clothes and how their colours bring out different shades of personality in different people. She likes supporting people and making them look good by making clothes for them. One day, she was asked to tailor my father's clothes for him. She said she noticed how vibrant my father's personality was. Soon after that, they became friends. She said to him, 'I would like to become your shadow. By doing so, I will make your light shine brighter.'"

Kagami gaped.

"And thus, they fell in love," Kuroko finished blandly.

"_Why does this story sound scarily familiar?"_

**Cleanup duty is the destiny of mankind – 2**

"Kuroko Tetsuya… Kuroko Tetsuya…"

The class representative, a bespectacled girl with a smart, prim ponytail, was reading through the class register and frowning deeply.

"Who is this guy?" she asked aloud. "I'm pretty sure I know everyone else in this class and yet…"

"Excuse me…"

"… and yet it seems like every week there's a _ghost _who does the cleanup duties on Kuroko-kun's assigned day. It's all so strange, very strange indeed…"

"Excuse me…"

"Yes, what is-?" The class rep froze. "YOU!"

"Yes?" said Kuroko blankly.

The class rep stared at him very, very closely, peering at him from all sorts of angles. "Do I know you?" she said finally.

"I'm Kuroko Tetuya."

"Kuroko…?" The class rep's eyes widened. "Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh! Forgive me! Please forgive me!"

"For what?"

"Because I forgot you! I didn't know who you were! And I pride myself for not being able to forget a face! I'm really, really sorry!"

"It's okay. I'm used to it."

"Listen, I'll make it up to you. I'll buy you a milkshake, okay? Then we'll call it even, all right?"

A blink. "You really don't have t-"

"I insist!"

The class rep had a wild, desperate look in her eyes. "Um, okay," said Kuroko.

The class rep looked relieved. "Good!" she announced. Then she turned around to Kagami. Her facial expression underwent a one-eighty transformation. "Oi, Kagami-kun, get off your fat ass and try to look like you're paying attention in class!"

From where he had previously been snoozing at his desk, Kagami threw her a sour glance. "_God_," he said irritably. "Stop bossing me around!"

"Hpmh, isn't he the worst, Kuroko-kun?"

"It can't be helped. Kagami-kun is stupid."

"Hey!" Kagami said indignantly. "When did you guys get so chummy all of a sudden?"

"Class rep-san is buying me a milkshake."

"What the-? Are you so easily bribed, Kuroko?" Kagami declared dramatically, "You'll live to regret this, Kuroko! She's going to eat you alive!"

Kuroko thought that actually sounded kind of ominous.

* * *

"Cleanup duty is the destiny of mankind," the class rep told Kuroko proudly, as she was buying him the promised milkshake.

"Is that so?" said Kuroko, looking neither interested nor disinterested.

"That's right!" the class rep enthused. "Life is about working together! It's about achieving our dreams of cleanup duty together! Cleanup duty is what we humans were born to do!"

"I admire your passion."

"That's why I really don't like people like Kagami-kun," the class rep went on, before she started ordering food for herself. When she was done, she continued talking to Kuroko. "People like Kagami-kun just want to do their own thing, you know? They don't think about the team at all!"

"I think you're wrong," Kuroko said quietly. He began to sip on his shake. "I think Kagami-kun is very much a team player."

"Oh, really? Well, he does play basketball, I suppose… But still…"

Kuroko cocked his head slightly in puzzlement.

The class rep simply sighed. "I don't care much for basketball. I guess we just don't get along because we don't have anything in common."

At that moment, her order arrived. She started to make her way to the table, staggering under a mountain of burgers.

Kuroko blinked.

"I think you have quite a lot in common, actually…"

* * *

"_Kuroko…!"_

Kagami was wincing. He was wincing very hard.

Frantically, he started pointing at the girl standing at the entrance of the gym.

"What is she doing here?" he hissed furiously. "I thought I was rid of that class rep, but I can't escape her even at club activities! Goddamn it!"

"Kagami-kun, if you speak that way, some people might think you are impolite."

Somewhere on the sidelines, Tetsuya #2 let out a yappy bark. The class rep looked at the dog strangely.

"That's, um, an interesting team you've got there," she remarked to Riko.

"Wait till you see them play," Riko said, shrugging, though she was actually grinning slyly. "Did Kuroko-kun invite you here?"

"No," said the class rep frankly. "I don't really watch basketball. Actually, there's something I'm curious about…"

She turned in Kagami's direction and placed her hands by the sides of her mouth as she called out to him.

"Kagami-kun! If you don't play well enough, I'll give you double cleanup duties!"

"_What?" _

The class rep merely chuckled at Kagami's outraged reaction.

"Is this good enough for you?" he demanded as he dunked the ball with all the boundless speed and strength that was characteristic of him.

"Nope," said the class rep.

"Bah! Can't please her whatever I do…"

Kagami promptly decided to ignore the girl after that and played his usual way. Kuroko's passes made the whole practice run smoothly, and Kagami coordinated his jumps with Hyuuga's three-pointers and Kiyoshi's point guard play. It was really just a normal day for Seirin.

The class rep stayed and watched for the duration, but as the players were coming off the court, she turned and walked away, her hand against her chin, evidently thinking.

* * *

The next day, when class ended, the class rep cornered Kagami in the classroom.

"Listen," she said. "There's something I want to talk to you about."

"What is it _now_?" Kagami said exasperatedly. "I did my duties this time, didn't I?"

"You did," said the class rep, smiling. "And quite well."

Kagami shuddered. She was _smiling_. Okay, so of course this girl was capable of smiling, but she never did it in front of him. It was like his very presence set off a zone defence that blocked off her smiling muscles.

"I have to correct my opinion of you," she went on. "So you _can _be a team player after all."

"Well, yeah," said Kagami. He didn't mention that it was really Kuroko and Seirin that had taught him to be a team player, but okay.

Little did he know that Kuroko was standing unnoticed in the room, smiling faintly at the conversation playing out before him.

"Cleaning's a lot like basketball, I think," said the class rep. "I think you might very well become the greatest basketball player in Japan. That feeling of applying disinfectant must be like scoring a slam dunk!"

"Uh, whatever you say." But Kagami was starting to smile. Crazy or not, he was beginning to see where his class rep was coming from.

"I have a proposal for you, Kagami-kun!" The class rep stood with her hands on her hips, a broad grin on her face. "Now that I know about your passion, there's something I know that we could achieve, if we could just put the right amount of teamwork in!"

She held out her hand before him, poised to shake it. Kagami looked at it for a moment, and then clasped it.

"And what's that?" he asked.

"With our strength and wits, it would be easy!" the class rep said enthusiastically. "We'll become the greatest janitors in Japan!"

* * *

**Author's note: **Feel free to write out Kagami's response in the reviews.


	6. Oha Asa says this chapter is awesome

**A note from Frog-kun**

This chapter is dedicated to **mayfairs**, who has kindly been reviewing my KuroBasu fics anonymously because she appears to be too lazy to log into her account**. **Thus, in her honour, the theme of this chapter is BL.

I had to dig deep for these stories. On the surface of it, these basketball players do not seem very interested in love. But I will assure you that these stories are one hundred per cent canon. I went around to all the schools and observed their lives diligently. Why, I even went up to Aomine and asked him: "Is it true that you and Kise are in love?" He gave me a very unambiguous response to that question.

Again, I write this from my hospital bed. Please stop beating me up, Aomine. It's not very good for my spleen.

**A Date in Shibuya**

One day, Midorima asked his friend Takao to take him to Shibuya via rickshaw. Takao was not very amused.

"The heck you want to go to Shibuya for?" he grumbled.

Very knowingly, Midorima pushed up his glasses.

"A date," he said.

Takao instantly snorted out the cola he was drinking.

"Wh-Wh-Wha-?" He took a deep breath and then tried again for a semi-coherent response. "What the sausage rolls on bacon egg sandwiches? With _who?"_

"That I do not know," Midorima answered primly. "My horoscope said that I would meet my soulmate today or else come to a realisation about love. The horoscope does not lie, Takao."

"Okay, okay, but why do I have to take you?"

"I spent all my money on today's lucky item."

Midorima was wearing it. It was an oversized poncho.

"So wait," said Takao. "You're telling me you want to go to Shibuya so you can meet a soulmate who you don't even know, and thus you intend on hitting on random girls while wearing a poncho?"

"Yes," said Midorima.

Then he said,

"Prepare the rickshaw now, Takao. We go immediately."

"Screw you, man. I don't know if I want to laugh or punch you in the face."

Takao did neither. They arrived in Shibuya before lunchtime.

* * *

Shibuya was the busiest shopping district in Tokyo. There were probably more people at a single crossing than there were ants in a hive. Shibuya brought a whole new meaning to the word 'sprawling'.

"So, uh, what now?" asked Takao, breaking the awkward silence. Midorima was standing with his back leaned against a brick wall, sporting a pair of sunglasses as if this would be his disguise in case anyone he knew saw him. He was staring intently at the thick crowd at the crossing.

"Quiet, Takao," he said. "I'm concentrating."

"On what?"

"I must carefully select my soulmate."

Fair enough, thought Takao. Girl watching was a pretty normal thing.

They sat at the sidewalk, watching girls walk past. "That one's a nine," Takao remarked, his eyes following a tall blonde foreigner.

"A five," Midorima sniffed.

Takao tried again.

"Ahhh, just a four for that one."

"Eight. Still not good enough."

Takao wondered if they were looking at the same girls. "I like that one. Damn, she's gorgeous! A ten!"

"Three."

"What the-? Do you even have _eyes_, Midorima?"

Midorima did not respond to that. He merely pushed up his glasses.

"I spot a 9.768," he announced.

"What? Where?"

"There."

Takao stared. He squinted.

"Dude," he said, flatly. "She's obviously married. She looks like she's thirty and she's walking with her husband. She's even pushing a pram!"

"A classy, feminine lady."

"You have weird taste, Midorima."

They spent about fifteen more minutes doing this, going nowhere. Midorima was unable to find anyone who suited his particular fancies. Takao was even about to suggest they quit it and just go off home when a girl quite suddenly approached them.

"Midorin!" said the girl very cheerfully, peering up over her shopping bags. Truth be told, she was more shopping bag than human at this point. It was almost impossible to see her face. Her voice, however, was unmistakable.

"Momoi," Midorima greeted stiffly. Then he seemed to remember something and looked quite stunned. "How did you recognise me?"

"Silly Midorin! I'll always be able to recognise you, hee hee! Say, have you seen Aomine-kun around anywhere?"

"No," said Midorima bluntly. "I have no desire to meet with that moronic airhead."

Momoi put down her bags, letting them form a mountain on the ground. Now that Takao could get a good look at her, he put her down as a 9.5. She huffed, her mouth forming an adorable pout.

"Someone has to carry my clothes and shoes!" she whined. "I think he ran off from me. Aomine-kun is so useless."

"No wonder," said Takao, staring at the bags. He wondered if anyone could possibly lift all of that. Momoi was stronger than she seemed.

"I feel sorry for Aomine," Midorima remarked when Momoi was gone, taking her mountain of shopping with her. "I never thought I would say that."

"Think you'll see anyone else you know?"

"I hope not," said Midorima, glowering at nothing in particular. "I certainly hope not."

* * *

"Midorimacchi! I didn't expect to see you here!"

Midorima's gaze was withering.

Kise was in his element, doing some modelling outside a department store. The girls were squealing. "What's up?" Kise asked Midorima cheerfully.

"The sky," said Midorima boorishly. "I'm going."

"Midorimacchi, why are you going? We should hang out! Hey, hey, I know! We should play some basketball!"

"Takao, let's go."

Kise drooped. He literally drooped. Midorima scowled (such frivolous display of emotion was so unbecoming) and passed him his sunglasses.

"Cover up those meaningless tears if you wish to appeal to your fans." And with that he was gone, dragging Takao behind him.

"Thanks, Midorimacchi!" Then Kise inspected the sunglasses more closely. "Oh, wait, these went out of fashion thirty years ago…"

* * *

It turned out Aomine was inside the department store, wandering around the women's lingerie section. (Of course, Midorima was only there for the women. He couldn't speak for Aomine. Actually, women probably had a lot to do with it for him, too.) The two boys caught sight of each other, grimaced, turned away from each other and pretended to browse the music section. At one point, they glanced at each other from the corner of each other's eyes and grimaced even more.

"When were you into screamo, Midorima?" asked Aomine.

"When were _you _into Mozart?"

"Touche."

* * *

In his attempt to wipe his encounters with Aomine and Kise from his memory, Midorima entered a confectionary store.

Murasakibara was standing in the middle of the store, sucking on a giant lollipop.

Midorima looked at him, blinked once, and then walked straight back out.

* * *

The entire Seirin team.

_THE ENTIRE SEIRIN TEAM._

They were standing around the dog Hachiko's statue for no good reason. They were just… there. As if their presence was taunting Midorima somehow.

At this point, Takao could barely hold in his laughter. "It's like they're stalking you, man! Who knows, one of them could be your soulmate!"

"If you continue to speak of that even jokingly, I will inflict excruciating physical harm upon you."

Just then, Kuroko looked up and happened to notice Midorima glaring in his general direction. He did not wave or smile or anything like that. Instead, he turned to the tall red-haired boy next to him and said, "Kagami-kun, it appears that Midorima-kun is noticing you."

"He's _what?"_

"Kuroko," Midorima said calmly, pushing up his glasses once again. "I will destroy you and your team."

"I am looking forward to seeing you again too, Midorima-kun. Seirin will show no mercy at the Winter Cup."

"Heh, as infuriating as always… _No. he is not my soulmate, Takao. Wipe that grin off your face._"

* * *

There was only one former teammate Midorima had yet to encounter in Shibuya. One teammate who was certainly not his soulmate.

Of course, Midorima thought, there was absolutely no way Akashi could be in Shibuya. Just what part of Akashi fit in with the hip, modern atmosphere of downtown Shibuya?

Midorima walked past a Shogi salon.

He had spoken too soon.

* * *

In the end, Midorima did not find any soulmates in Shibuya, just annoying people who pissed him off.

He truly was in a bad mood as he started making his way towards the station. There was nothing to do here. He had not found his soulmate – perhaps, like his horoscope said, he would soon come to a realisation about love…

"Hey, Midorima, in here," Takao said beside him, pointing at a nearby fast food restaurant.

"What is it, Takao?" Midorima asked sternly.

They went inside the restaurant, and Midorima was surprised when Takao handed him a burger meal.

"Thought you were hungry, man," Takao said casually. "You said you used up all your money."

Midorima merely gazed at the burger wordlessly. The sauce was dripping out of it. The bun was half-cooked. The lettuce was soggy. Everything about this burger screamed of half-assed effort.

"You know," Takao was saying as, blithely, he swallowed down his own meal. "You're so _weird_, Midorima. You pay attention to such weird details. I'm surprised you have so many friends."

"Friends, Takao?"

"Yeah, your old team. They're all your friends, right?"

"No," said Midorima. "They are most certainly not."

"Well, whatever. You played together, you won together. It's not a bad feeling. That's what matters, right?"

"Perhaps," said Midorima. He began to eat, chewing down his burger with measured bites. It was such a cheaply made thing, but it did taste good.

His horoscope, what about his horoscope? No soulmates. He had come to Shibuya for a date. Instead, here he was eating unsophisticated meals with Takao. He had spent the whole day with him, trying to avoid his former team mates.

Well, maybe a soulmate didn't have to be female…

It would have to do for today. Anything else was beyond the meaning of the horoscope. Midorima grunted.

"Let's go home, Takao."


	7. Kagamirella

**Kagamirella**

Once upon a time, there lived a girl named Kagamirella.

When she was young, she was a very happy girl. She grew over six feet tall and developed very noticeable abs and biceps because she played a lot of basketball. She was the most beautiful girl in the land.

But then one day her father died. It was very sad. To make things worse, her mother married another man who didn't love Kagamirella one tiny bit. Her stepfather showered all of his affection onto his daughters and completely neglected poor Kagamirella.

Kagamirella's stepsisters were especially cruel. When they first met, Akashi tried to stab Kagamirella with scissors. Aomine kept leaving her dirty magazines around the house for Kagamirella to pick up. Midorima made Kagamirella drive her around in a rickshaw. Murasakibara ate all the candy, and that made poor Kagamirella very sad and upset.

But Kagamirella was brave and always cheerful. She took comfort in how ugly and ungraceful her stepsisters looked when they wore dresses.

One day, beautiful new dresses arrived at the house. The stepsisters were invited to go to a ball held by the handsome Prince Kise. It was called a ball because they played basketball. Kagamirella loved basketball but she didn't dare ask to go because she knew her stepsisters wouldn't let her. So while they put on their mascara and wore skimpy dresses and went to the ball, Kagamirella stayed home and cooked dinner.

Suddenly, Kagamirella heard a voice. "Excuse me, Kagamirella-san." It was Kagamirella's Fairy Godmother!

"How did you get here?" asked Kagamirella.

"I was here this whole time but I am afraid you did not notice me, Kagamirella-san," said the Fairy Godmother. The Fairy Godmother had very little presence.

"Speak up sooner, you goddamn shrimp," said beautiful Kagamirella.

The Fairy Godmother explained that she intended to let Kagamirella go to the ball. Kagamirella was uncertain about this because she was wearing rags. How could she go to the ball in rags?

The Fairy Godmother smiled and flicked her magic wand. Suddenly, Kagamirella was wearing the basketball shoes Michael Jordan wore when he won the NBA Championship final in 1993. "Now for your coach," said the Fairy Godmother. "Bring me five mice and a pumpkin."

Kagamirella soon returned with what the Fairy Godmother asked for. With another flick of her wand, the mice turned into horses and the pumpkin turned into a beautiful coach.

Kagamirella could hardly believe her eyes. The horses, who were named Hyuuga, Riko, Izuki, Mitobe and Koganei, drew the coach along all the way to the prince's castle.

Before they went inside the castle, the Fairy Godmother stopped Kagamirella and said, "Be careful to come out before midnight, for that is when the magic wears off."

Inside the castle, the ball was already underway and it was very busy.

"THIS IS JAPANESE LUNCH TIME RUSH," said Kagamirella.

As she spoke, she noticed Prince Kise, who had already finished played basketball with all the other ladies and was looking very bored. When he saw Kagamirella, his eyes lit up and he offered to play with Kagamirella. She happily accepted.

It was such a fun game. Kagamirella soon lost track of time.

"Oh, Kagamirella," said Prince Kise, looking Kagamirella in the eyes. "I want to play basketball with you for the rest of my life. Will you be my Power Forward?"

Kagamirella was about to reply when suddenly the clock chimed midnight. It was only then she remembered what the Fairy Godmother said. She picked up her skirt and ran, accidentally leaving one of her basketball sneakers behind. Soon she was gone and she vanished into the night.

Prince Kise picked up the smelly, odour-filled shoe and said to his ministers, "Go and search every house until you find the girl whose feet fit this sneaker!"

Meanwhile, Kagamirella attempted to stow away with her Fairy Godmother.

"Idiot! Can't you cast an invisibility spell on me?"

"It is not invisibility. It is misdirection."

"Hey, why'd you do all this for me?" Kagamirella asked suddenly. It was something that made her curious. "It's not like I've done anything for you."

"Kagamirella-san," said the Fairy Godmother, looking very serious. "It is my wish for you to become a shining star, one that stands out brightly even among the Generation of Miracles. I am a shadow, but it is through my role that I may be able to help you."

"Heh," said Kagamirella. "Enough of this confusing talk. Let's play basketball together. That's the best way to get things across."

The Fairy Godmother looked at Kagamirella blankly before slowly smiling.

"Yes."

* * *

As for Prince Kise, he looked all over the country to find the beautiful girl who owned the basketball shoe, but because Kagamirella was too busy playing basketball with the Fairy Godmother and the Seirin mice to be at home, he never ended up finding her.

"Oh, woe is me!" cried the heartbroken Prince Kise, for he had been very smitten with the fair maiden he called Kagamicchi.

The last house Prince Kise visited to try and find the shoe's owner was Kagamirella's. The stepsisters all tried wearing the shoe. It was too big for Akashi, too small for Murasakibara, too unlucky for Midorima. Then Aomine tried it on and it fit.

Prince Kise was overcome with joy and promptly married Aomine.

And they all lived happily ever after.

* * *

**(A/N: **Happy New Year, guys! It's been a while since my last Kuroman update, huh? If you like this story, check out my newest story 'Detective Momoi' too. Anyway, here's to a good 2013!)


End file.
